Thursday, 2 March 2017

Letter to Joe

This is an exercise we had to undertake for my creative writing class. It had to be something amusing. This is my attempt.

Dear Joseph

Thank you for helping me move that wardrobe the other day. The charity van collected it the next morning consequently it was not on our drive for long.
I trust your foot is not too bruised and the swelling is starting to go down. The wardrobe was far heavier than I anticipated. It was an accident when it slipped while we were turning it onto its side to get it out of the door. It came as a complete surprise to me that you knew such words, let alone could say them with such force.
Has the skin on your knuckles grown back? I thought you said push when we were manoeuvring it through the door.  It would have got through easily without chipping the paint if your hand had not been in the way.
The stairs are much steeper than I have ever noticed or it might have been the weight of the wardrobe that emphasised the slope. I know I was supposed to take most of the weight while you held it off the carpet and made sure it did not hit anything. It seemed to have a mind of its own and quite took over.
 People have told me there is a very good tailor in town who does invisible mending so your trousers should be as good as new when he has finished with them.
As for the window at the bottom of the stairs, the glazier advised me that I should have toughened glass to replace the broken pane in case we try moving something down the stairs again. The glass he has put into the frame, which was still usable, is very nice with a slight pattern on the surface.
Now the blood on the carpet is a different matter. I have tried carpet cleaner but there is still a stain. My wife suggested vinegar but I am not too confident in her sources. I might have to get a rug to hide it. Have you any suggestions as to what design of rug would look in place at the bottom of the stairs? I have always valued your advice.
The ambulance people were excellent. They patched you up in no time and whisked you into the ambulance without any fuss. Maybe I should have asked them to help me get  the wardrobe down the stairs. They appear to have experience of getting burdens round awkward places without banging into things.
I tried to phone you in the hospital but they would not let you answer the phone. Something about you getting agitated if you heard my voice. You have never told me about  your having any heart problems. Hence my writing this letter which I will give to Vera, your wife, to deliver.
If you stay in hospital much longer, I will come and see you. A visit from me might cheer you up.

Regards from your dear friend.